One of the many reasons as to why I had stopped blogging for so long was due to my long ongoing battle with depression and anxiety.
You are probably thinking wow another person? Because there are so many people who claim to have mental health issues who probably haven’t been diagnosed because the past couple of years its become some sort of fad and some people find it “cool”. There is nothing cool or amazing about actually living with a mental illness and for those of us that do find it rather offensive when teenagers flippantly just use the word anxiety and depression in their everyday vocabulary such as- “looking at the man doing that gives me anxiety” “doing homework makes me depressed”. Depression and anxiety aren’t feelings they are illnesses.
Both these illnesses are what I have been battling since I was a child and it wasn’t until 2 years ago that I beat depression but my anxiety is still there and after a lot of trial and error only a few days ago I finally found medication for it that is right for me. I have had counselling and therapy which only helped to a certain extent, I haven’t had any panic attacks since going through cognitive behavioural therapy but the anxiety is still there due to various traumatic events which I may open up about in another post if any of you request it. To be honest I don’t think any amount of therapy or lifestyle change will make it go away that’s why as a last resort I have turned to tablets.
It’s not just being around other people and crowds ,which people stereotype anxiety to be, I even get anxious in my own home which makes my anxiety quite severe the only time I feel safe is when my fiance is home which is for 2 days every 2 weeks as he works round the country. I have lost a lot of my friends and family due to my mental health so Jamie being home is my safe place because hes one of the few that understand and takes care of me. Luckily since taking my new pot of tablets I feel like I may finally be what people consider normal again. It’s a very strange feeling as I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed.
And for those of you who may be worried that you or somebody else may have anxiety I have listed below the main signs and symptoms.
- Excessive worrying
- Panic attacks
- Feeling Dizzy
- Loss of appetite
- Avoiding places and people
- Compulsive behaviour
Just remember these are just a handful of symptoms, some of these symptoms may be caused by something else so please don’t assume, instead speak to your GP and they can refer you to the right person.
Thank you for reading the short version of why I have been away for so long. If you would like me to elaborate and talk more about this topic then feel free to comment below.