As I have been overwhelmed with comments on my pregnancy announcement, many of which I haven’t read until now, I thought I will introduce you to my son and share my birth story .It makes me feel guilty that I haven’t shared my journey with you due to needing a break from blogging.
Pregnancy for me was never easy. I had to quit work because I was very anaemic. I didn’t have many symptoms such as sickness but I had anaemia and low blood pressure throughout my first and second trimester. The third trimester came and I finally started showing and looking pregnant, I had very good core muscles, HAD being the main word haha, but up until then part from my anaemia I had a fairly easy pregnancy compared to others.
I got to 36 weeks pregnant I had a general check up with my midwife, she examined my stomach and she was pretty certain that he wasn’t head down and was in fact frank breech. If you don’t know what frank breech is then here’s a photo of what he would have looked like.
I was booked in for a scan at 37 weeks at a hospital to see if he had turned and if not I would either had to get him turned which is known as ECV, have a C-section or try and give birth anyway which wasn’t medically advised. At 37 weeks the nurse found that he hadn’t turned and because I had good core muscles with little amniotic fluid if an ECV was done he would either not turn or just pop back again.
I did a TON of research, much to my consultant’s dismay I chose to have a C-section. I went with what my gut was telling me (which is always right every time) and I just had this awful reason that my son wasn’t turning for a very good reason and to have him turned with the huge risks it comes with didn’t sit right with me. And to have a natural birth with huge risks that came with it didn’t sit right with me either. So there was it my natural water birth with no pain relief full of rainbows and smiles that everyone seems to talk about went completely out of the window. I could have gone along with what made my consultant happy and possibly have the rainbows and smiles but it wasn’t about him, it wasn’t about me or my selfish idealistic birth that I had painted in my head. It was about what was best for my unborn baby. The decision was left in my hands which I found extremely difficult giving that I never had surgery and was scared of needles.
The day came for me to have my C-section. I had a canula in my hand after the second attempt when the student nurse burst my vein! Myself and Jamie were both prepped for theatre. I had to go in the horrible cold theatre all on my own and sit and have a long needle put into my spine which is known as a spinal block to numb the majority of my body. They pumped various different drugs into me many of which I can’t remember because of the drugs. My memory goes hazy after that happened so the rest of this post may sound short but sweet.
The team laid me down and checked if i was numb and made the first cut, Jamie was then allowed to come in the room we was both balling our eyes out during the whole c-section. I felt ALOT OF hard tugging and pulling which made me feel sick. Eventually Archie Peter Robb was born on the 20th of September 2016 at 11:18 am with a very good set of lungs on him! He cried almost straight away. The midwife took him somewhere to check everything was okay with him (procedure when you have a c-section in the UK). I was then shaking vigorously which is apparently normal but I thought I was dieing and started to panic. (you can imagine how traumatising this all was for someone with severe anxiety) eventually Jamie came over with Archie looking so proud balling his eyes out and that was the first time I saw my son. The moment I will never forget and one of the moments I can actually remember clearly throughout the whole thing!
Whenever people are in an active crisis or considering taking their own lives, it is commonly recommended that they call the National Suicide Hotline for immediate emotional support. However, many people are afraid to utilize the Suicide Hotline as a resource, either out of fear of the unknown (i.e., “What will happen when I call?”) or […]
via What Happens When You Call the National Suicide Hotline | From a Former Volunteer — Counselor Ashlei
One of the many reasons as to why I had stopped blogging for so long was due to my long ongoing battle with depression and anxiety.
You are probably thinking wow another person? Because there are so many people who claim to have mental health issues who probably haven’t been diagnosed because the past couple of years its become some sort of fad and some people find it “cool”. There is nothing cool or amazing about actually living with a mental illness and for those of us that do find it rather offensive when teenagers flippantly just use the word anxiety and depression in their everyday vocabulary such as- “looking at the man doing that gives me anxiety” “doing homework makes me depressed”. Depression and anxiety aren’t feelings they are illnesses.
Both these illnesses are what I have been battling since I was a child and it wasn’t until 2 years ago that I beat depression but my anxiety is still there and after a lot of trial and error only a few days ago I finally found medication for it that is right for me. I have had counselling and therapy which only helped to a certain extent, I haven’t had any panic attacks since going through cognitive behavioural therapy but the anxiety is still there due to various traumatic events which I may open up about in another post if any of you request it. To be honest I don’t think any amount of therapy or lifestyle change will make it go away that’s why as a last resort I have turned to tablets.
It’s not just being around other people and crowds ,which people stereotype anxiety to be, I even get anxious in my own home which makes my anxiety quite severe the only time I feel safe is when my fiance is home which is for 2 days every 2 weeks as he works round the country. I have lost a lot of my friends and family due to my mental health so Jamie being home is my safe place because hes one of the few that understand and takes care of me. Luckily since taking my new pot of tablets I feel like I may finally be what people consider normal again. It’s a very strange feeling as I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed.
And for those of you who may be worried that you or somebody else may have anxiety I have listed below the main signs and symptoms.
- Excessive worrying
- Panic attacks
- Feeling Dizzy
- Loss of appetite
- Avoiding places and people
- Compulsive behaviour
Just remember these are just a handful of symptoms, some of these symptoms may be caused by something else so please don’t assume, instead speak to your GP and they can refer you to the right person.
Thank you for reading the short version of why I have been away for so long. If you would like me to elaborate and talk more about this topic then feel free to comment below.
So, for the past 2 years or so I went a bit awol. I took a long break from posting on my blog.
The past 2 years I have moved house twice, had a baby and battled some health issues. I also took a year out of my uni degree so instead of going into my fourth year I am going into my third. Now things are back on track I have revamped my blog. I am still going to keep my old posts because I can’t bring myself to delete them!
Now I have grown and become a mother, my blog posts are going to be a bit different. There will be less beauty and more posts about my life and family. I hope you all will take this change positively and support my new style of blogging.
I can’t wait to get back into the swing of things!
Much Love, Becca-Anne